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Brings me to tears!
Nebogrador by way of my stomach
Five stars with a few planets thrown in, the Hotel Lacrimas (translation: Tears) sits atop a massive hill and plays footsies with the clouds. But let's keep this simple. You go to Nebogrador to view the incredible Crying Trees. They soar high past the clouds and shed tears upon the countryside and its people below. But this adventure requires planning and days. Prepare to be stupefied, emotionalized and mystified. So get your passports up to date and come to Nebogrador! More on the trees in my second Nebogrador blog.
So here we go. I can't speak for my traveling companion, but as for me, the Lacrimas accommodations were top notch, world class, topsy mopsy! Ipso facto; the best place to stay when visiting the crying trees or just one of the best places to stay anywhere in the world. Let's talk breakfast. The usual suspects were all stars filled and thumbs to the sky at the Lacrimas Restaurant, but there are two dishes that stand out and I need to pass this information on so those taking the time to visit Nebogrador, must stop at the Lacrimas Breakfast Buffet and have the Pollito Gotagopi with lime and Ocado!! It sits in its own juices and the meat sizzles when brought to your table. But don't let the oozing oils scare you. This green, orange meat dish will touch every single nerve in your body. Your cheeks will swell and your eyes will roll back. Eat it all. Take a crisp chip and dip and devour. Wash it down with a Kraken Froothie, made famous by our own, Malen Diviti. (I miss her.)
Second on the breakfast menu that should rile up your belly is the Dender Putz Omelette. The Dender Putz is a small colorful bird that is in abundance in Nebogrador and is thusly a favorite dish. But before we eat the bird, we eat its eggs. Small in comparison to most feathered hatchlings, the Dender Putz eggs are full of nutrition and taste. The Omelette requires fifteen eggs to prepare. But don't stop there. Add your favorite ingredients or let your chef create something magical from the long list of ingredients available. The fluffy creation will float down to your stomach and put a glow on your face. Make sure to have a pot of the Eklisivia Coffee prepared for you. The combination may just cause you to sleep through lunch, dinner and your midnight snack. Yes. It is that good. Go to it!
Lunch. If you have room. Make it an hour later. Savor breakfast. But we're eating light at this midday time. If you're into salads, I've been nowhere that has more greenery choices than at the Lacrimas Restaurant. Too many to list here, I will just say, every leaf on the planet makes an appearance at the salad bar. Is that possible? I thought not and actually, it's probably not true. Why? Because Misty Soda, the Lacrima's hunter and gatherer of ingredients, swears she is still finding leafs from places few people travel to and bringing them to their salad bar. In the end, you're going to find a leaf you've never tried. So turn it over and eat it too.
And if salads ain't your thing, young punk chef Dooley Walant makes the jazziest sandwiches your eyes will ever see. Meatball subs? We're talking trains here. Stacks of meat or veggies with original Lacrimas dressings and sauces. Mouth watering, dripping and shaking. Shoot your diet, your nap follows.
Dinner. Okay, let's be honest, you likely should spread these recommendations into three days. Belts, zippers and duct tape are not designed to take this much intake in such a short amount of time. But your start of this dinner menu is at the start. More Dender eggs. Boiled and slipping about in a sea of green prickle plant sauce. It's loaded with spices and gets your stomach ready for course two, the main dish. And here we venture into meat eating extravaganza with the Bestia del Bosque. Roughly the beast of the forest, this animal stands three times the height of any man and weighing better than two shogs. Good news, it tastes nothing like a shog. (Disclaimer, I've never eaten a shog and plan to never.) But Unc save me the tender meat that this beast gives can make the mightiest of hero's weep. There's nothing to divert the taste of the meat but some oil, some pats of butter and dust of the sea. Name your starch because it matters not. This hefty piece of meat is your target. All else is decor. Edible but useless on the same plate. I am crying as I write this so let's talk pie. I was surprised that pie was recommended for course three. Pie? It made the entire trip worthwhile. Thick, meaty pie. Batberry sauce sprinkled with Eklisivia coffee grounds. Don't knock it till you try it.
Those are three meals I had and say here and now, five stars is not enough. The service, the facility, the rooms, the staff. The Lacrimas Hotel can and will bring tears to your eyes. I am out of words. And you should stop and book your flight and room and schedule your visit to the Crying Trees. Prepare to be transformed.
Five stars with a few planets thrown in, the Hotel Lacrimas (translation: Tears) sits atop a massive hill and plays footsies with the clouds. But let's keep this simple. You go to Nebogrador to view the incredible Crying Trees. They soar high past the clouds and shed tears upon the countryside and its people below. But this adventure requires planning and days. Prepare to be stupefied, emotionalized and mystified. So get your passports up to date and come to Nebogrador! More on the trees in my second Nebogrador blog.
So here we go. I can't speak for my traveling companion, but as for me, the Lacrimas accommodations were top notch, world class, topsy mopsy! Ipso facto; the best place to stay when visiting the crying trees or just one of the best places to stay anywhere in the world. Let's talk breakfast. The usual suspects were all stars filled and thumbs to the sky at the Lacrimas Restaurant, but there are two dishes that stand out and I need to pass this information on so those taking the time to visit Nebogrador, must stop at the Lacrimas Breakfast Buffet and have the Pollito Gotagopi with lime and Ocado!! It sits in its own juices and the meat sizzles when brought to your table. But don't let the oozing oils scare you. This green, orange meat dish will touch every single nerve in your body. Your cheeks will swell and your eyes will roll back. Eat it all. Take a crisp chip and dip and devour. Wash it down with a Kraken Froothie, made famous by our own, Malen Diviti. (I miss her.)
Second on the breakfast menu that should rile up your belly is the Dender Putz Omelette. The Dender Putz is a small colorful bird that is in abundance in Nebogrador and is thusly a favorite dish. But before we eat the bird, we eat its eggs. Small in comparison to most feathered hatchlings, the Dender Putz eggs are full of nutrition and taste. The Omelette requires fifteen eggs to prepare. But don't stop there. Add your favorite ingredients or let your chef create something magical from the long list of ingredients available. The fluffy creation will float down to your stomach and put a glow on your face. Make sure to have a pot of the Eklisivia Coffee prepared for you. The combination may just cause you to sleep through lunch, dinner and your midnight snack. Yes. It is that good. Go to it!
Lunch. If you have room. Make it an hour later. Savor breakfast. But we're eating light at this midday time. If you're into salads, I've been nowhere that has more greenery choices than at the Lacrimas Restaurant. Too many to list here, I will just say, every leaf on the planet makes an appearance at the salad bar. Is that possible? I thought not and actually, it's probably not true. Why? Because Misty Soda, the Lacrima's hunter and gatherer of ingredients, swears she is still finding leafs from places few people travel to and bringing them to their salad bar. In the end, you're going to find a leaf you've never tried. So turn it over and eat it too.
And if salads ain't your thing, young punk chef Dooley Walant makes the jazziest sandwiches your eyes will ever see. Meatball subs? We're talking trains here. Stacks of meat or veggies with original Lacrimas dressings and sauces. Mouth watering, dripping and shaking. Shoot your diet, your nap follows.
Dinner. Okay, let's be honest, you likely should spread these recommendations into three days. Belts, zippers and duct tape are not designed to take this much intake in such a short amount of time. But your start of this dinner menu is at the start. More Dender eggs. Boiled and slipping about in a sea of green prickle plant sauce. It's loaded with spices and gets your stomach ready for course two, the main dish. And here we venture into meat eating extravaganza with the Bestia del Bosque. Roughly the beast of the forest, this animal stands three times the height of any man and weighing better than two shogs. Good news, it tastes nothing like a shog. (Disclaimer, I've never eaten a shog and plan to never.) But Unc save me the tender meat that this beast gives can make the mightiest of hero's weep. There's nothing to divert the taste of the meat but some oil, some pats of butter and dust of the sea. Name your starch because it matters not. This hefty piece of meat is your target. All else is decor. Edible but useless on the same plate. I am crying as I write this so let's talk pie. I was surprised that pie was recommended for course three. Pie? It made the entire trip worthwhile. Thick, meaty pie. Batberry sauce sprinkled with Eklisivia coffee grounds. Don't knock it till you try it.
Those are three meals I had and say here and now, five stars is not enough. The service, the facility, the rooms, the staff. The Lacrimas Hotel can and will bring tears to your eyes. I am out of words. And you should stop and book your flight and room and schedule your visit to the Crying Trees. Prepare to be transformed.
HOTEL LACRIMAS
HOTEL LACRIMA CRYING TREES
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