VOL. I No. 04
© Mujand LLC
ZILCHY, MUJAND REPUBLIC
AUGUST 19, 2015
INVERTED BIRDS DISCOVERED
A New Currency
PORT AVASTUS --
The Poneet Islands Port Avastus Keskpank, has announced a new banknotes series, which will be available to the public in the coming weeks.
The new banknotes will feature Poneet Islands historical figures on the obverse while the reverse will have images of the newly discovered inverted birds.
The polymer notes will feature a hologram foil designed with the natural setting of the islands in mind.
DOBIT STREET, ZILCHY --
GOOPNOK INDUSTRIES (GOO) has been awarded the Blissdane Naive space debris purge contract reportedly valued at 12.6 million Zilchy yearly. Goopnok Industries is one of a handful of non-indigenous companies allowed to do business on the planet. Goopnok’s main business is scrubbing planet orbital pathways of debris, which is either naturally created or created by non-functioning or destroyed satellites. They have an excellent track record in the debris purge field.
GOOPNOK INDUSTRIES (GOO) – Dobit
Orbit Waste Management
Space Debris Collection
BERKSTON, SPODINA -- Spodina food giant, Kayla Cheeng Foods (KCF) has traded its successful gravy and dressings line, Pustac, to its rival, Nutrishfin (NUT) a Lumentina company, for the popular soda drink, Spank Cola.
Analysts are shaking their heads on this deal. Fank Luskin of the investment firm, Shog & Teel cannot find anything positive in this deal for Nutrishfin, with the possible exception of an issue related to healthy lifestyles.
"Spank Cola does not fall in line with the standard Nutrishfin healthy food line," Mr. Luskin said. "My guess is that Nutrishfin will revamp the recipes to the Pustac gravies and dressings and create a more healthy condiment line."
As for the value of the deal Mr. Luskin went on to say, "Monetarily speaking, I don't see Nutrishfin coming out ahead on this deal."
Neither company is talking about the trade.
KAYLA CHEENG (KCF) - Dobit
Trading: Up 1.20 - 27.98
NUTRISHFIN (NUT) - Dobit
Trading: Down 2.02 - 45.23
THE DENE TREE
TERRITORY OF KUMAD --
In an extreme region of the Terriotry of Kumad, a single living tree has been found, which survives and flourishes in the harsh conditions of the Hotar Rylel Desert. Temperatures have officially been recorded as high as 76T (˚F3) in this remote area of the Kumad desert. The tree was detected and photographed by the Mujand Republic satellite, Alerog, which has the continuing mission of monitoring the planet’s environmental health. According to the Scienteers at Mujand Republic’s Civil Aeronautics & Space Harmony (CASH) the tree was first identified as debris, which was thought to have fallen from orbit.
After lengthy negotiations between the Territory of Kumad and the Mujand Republic, a CASH team was dispatched to the area. They immediately confirmed the existence of the object as a tree and not space debris. The CASH team’s preliminary findings indicate that the tree is healthy and unaffected by the extreme temperatures. It is unknown how this tree survives in the desert.
“Clearly, there is an underground source of water that is unknown to us at this time,” said Mot Heyvinger, lead scienteer for the CASH group. When asked why one tree only, Hayvinger shook his head. “That is the question we need answered.”
A research team is being put together to study the arbor phenomenon, which they are calling, The Dene Tree. Negotiations between the Mujand Republic and The Territory of Kumad have begun.
The Jandican Church has issued a statement regarding the discovery of the tree: “The Jandican Church believes this tree to be sacred and should not be molested. We oppose any and all Scienteer meddling with the Dene Tree.”
Environmentalists state that studies of this desert have shown no signs of water in this region of Kumad. It is a mystery.
POOT ERO, PONEET ISLANDS
Scienteers and Ornithologists from all over Blissdane Naive have ascended on the Poneet Islands chain to investigate the report of Kooskola Birds, sometimes called harmony-birds, having been altered by an undetermined color inversion.
This color change, which has been documented by several Poneet bird groups, comes after the island chain’s recent Chasm X time event. Scienteers cannot say whether the time event had anything to do with the inverted Kooskola but they do concede that it is a possibility, especially given that this color inversion was noticed only after the time event.
“The color alteration in the Kooskola may have gone unnoticed for weeks due to the Poneet people’s struggle with their new reality in the year 2015,” said Scienteer Bry Nettibolt. “We’re looking into every possible scenario with regard to this phenomenon,” he said after meeting with several local and world ornithologists.
When asked of the possibility that the bird groups are seeing albino birds, Nettibolt said, “It’s unlikely that there is suddenly a large population of albino birds on the Poneet Islands but considering all the events occurring on Blissdane Naive in the last few years or centuries, depending on your perspective, anything is possible.”
The hunt for other inverted creatures is underway.
GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION
LIA ANTOOTICA --
Scienteers have confirmed that an anti-gravity spout near Waaderloos Poort, in the country of Lia Antootica, has been discovered by children who were playing nearby. Unfortunately, one boy ran through the spout and was pulled up into the air, never to be seen again.
"It seems to have a circumference of 20 or so feet and how high it goes is unknown at this time," says Dr. Simi Ling, a researcher for Propulsion Appliance who was called in by the Lia Antootica government.
A small probe with a camera attached will be released into the anti-gravity spout soon. We will bring you the results when they are published.
NEVER ODD OR EVEN
RAECHI, MUJAND REPUBLIC -- A man living in the Mujand Republic, in the city of Raechi, claims his time is no longer advancing but in fact is regressing or going in reverse. His name is T-Surt Enoon.
“My day started out normal. Waking at sunrise, eating breakfast and watching the news.”
But what Mr. Enoon never realized was the fact that he was watching the evening news in the morning. When he finally did look at a clock the hands were running in reverse.
“I thought the clock had malfunctioned,” Mr. Enoon said to us through a reverse-speak interpreter. “Attempting to fix the clock, I then realized that other clocks were also running in reverse. This scared me. It was at this point that Mr. Enoon decided to call someone.
He reached the physics department at Arontal University and was hung up on. Mr. Enoon did not realize to the rest of the world he was speaking in reverse. He knew he had to go down to the University.
Physics professor, Domeer Phadto received Mr. Enoon but was not amused. “Of course I thought it a joke as I could not understand the man at all.” Mr. Enoon was prepared and pulled out a notepad and pen and explained his situation. Professor Phadto saw the man write in reverse, from end to beginning.
When Professor Phadto and his colleagues examined Mr. Enoon, the results were baffling. His conversation was verbalized in reverse. An expert in understanding reverse-speak was brought in to help interpret.
Mr. Enoon claims that his communications with the Scienteers started at the end and he experienced the meeting in reverse. Enoon understood what they were saying but they could not understand him. Professor Phadto and his colleagues still believed they were the victims of a practical joke.
To prove his claim, Mr. Enoon reported the news he saw in the morning about a chemical warehouse explosion, which would occur in Sema Senco. Fifteen people would die. Two hours later the news of the explosion came across the wire. Fifteen people killed in Sema Senco.
Professor Phadto and his team will continue to study Mr. Enoon’s case.
EKLISIVIA -- At press time word arrived that the Eklisivia Congress has proposed a voluntary scheduling splitting the day between the Albino and non-Albino populations. The Investigator will pursue this story as it develops.