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VOL. I No. 05
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© Mujand LLC
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ZILCHY, MUJAND REPUBLIC
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January 26, 2016
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Free
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CARTEL GROUP GOES LEGITIMATE
NEW CURRENCYPort Avastus, Poneet Islands -- The Poneet Islands National Archive and Records (PINAAR) have announced that the controversial banknotes known as, Tobacco Notes, have been turned in by the Foreers family. Hidee Foreers Nodeet, the great, great, great, great granddaughter of not so great Yonif Foreers, has turned in the banknotes that have been in her family’s possession for centuries. These banknotes were thought destroyed centuries ago by the Poneet Islands government. We have now learned that Yonif Foreers, who was tasked with the destruction of the banknotes, did not do so and held on to them throughout his life. They then passed to his family at his death and continued on to other family members.
Continued... 
(Cont.)
Although the Mujand Investigator reported the possible existence of these Tobacco Notes years ago, there was little proof available to us at the time. Through our diligence and meticulous research we concluded that Yonif Foreers was the likely person that took the notes, if they indeed had not been destroyed. With this information, we then contacted Mrs. Nodeet, who it turns out had the banknotes hidden in a box in her attic. She had no idea what was in the many boxes, having only recently inherited the centuries old estate from her recently deceased aunt, Zenida Foreers. With our assistance, Mrs. Nodeet rummaged through each box with painstaking effort. It took Mrs. Nodeet and our team over a week to look through every box, sifting through every document, photograph, letter and a multitude of other items. It was near the end of our search when the banknotes were found. There were a total of 753 boxes, small and large. The Mujand Investigator recently spoke with Hidee Fereers Nodeet from her home in Port Avastas. “Apparently, family members have been hiding these banknotes for centuries in an attempt to keep our family name clear. When I inherited this home I found the boxes in the attic. There were just so many boxes to go through that I kept putting it off. But with the help of The Mujand Investigator we went through all the boxes and did find the banknotes. We were all overjoyed and surprised to see them in such pristine condition. I knew I had to do the right thing and turn them in.” When PINAAR examined the banknotes it was clear that they had aged very little, which baffled everyone. They were in extremely wonderful condition considering their age. A theory has been put forward that the Chasm X time anomaly may have had something to do with the notes’ condition. When asked of the time anomaly possibility, Mrs. Nodeet smiled and said, “In my mind, the time duration from my great grandfather up to now is correct. I believe…” With the blessing of the Poneet Islands Government and the Port Avastas Keskpank Monetaar Reserv, the Tobacco Notes will soon be available to the public though Mujand LLC. The 50 Kasutu note will be offered first. FINANCIAL NEWS
NIGTUR BUYS BOSWAN
DOBIT STREET, ZILCHY Boswanigtur (BOS) sees its stock price climb 45.25% despite strong and callus language from CEO Godos Mintra. The ongoing investigation by the Mujand Republic has investors a little weary. (See article in this publication.)
Analyst Fank Luskin of the investment firm, Shog & Teel admits there is investor weariness but says the stock has an upside. "We know for a fact," said Luskin in a recent interview, "that BOS has a medication in the pipeline that will boost company profits to incredible heights. Is this a Buy? You bet!" BOSWANIGTUR & Co. (BOS) – Dobit (After merger announcement) Up 45.25 (25.6%) Open: 176.85 z Closed: 222.12 z 
TECHNICAL NEWSTHE CIRCADIAN
STABILIZER1678 SENCOR, SIMA SENCO – Sima Senco physicist, Dr. Opmet Galavadezi, has developed the Circadian Stabilizer, a device that will counter the affects of the time anomaly known as Chasm X. It’s been discovered that the time anomaly is causing a psychological lag, which can take several months and up to a year for the body to adjust. Dr. Galavadezi asserts that his device can reduce the time needed for the adjustment of the body’s altered circadian rhythm.
Saza Lemini, publicist for the Galavadezi Company, released a statement regarding the availability of the device. “The company is in the testing phase at the moment. We are confident we will have a working model within a few months.” When asked about pricing, she said that a price had yet to be determined. The Galavadezi Company is negotiating with state and national agencies to initially provide the device only to the medical field. The Circadian Stabilizer will be available to the general public at a later date. An unnamed source is telling the Mujand Investigator that Initial tests are showing the device working very well to reduce the time lag effect but that researchers may have found a beneficial side effect as well. “There are signs that the device can help keep the female body in sync, biologically.” Our source refused to go on the record. The Galavadezi Company will not comment on the side effect claims. The Belon Prize committee has floated Dr. Galavadezi’s name as a possible nominee for the prestigious award. The scienteer community thinks this anointing may be a bit premature. 
The Nulberry Fruit; Nulas Rubra
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CEO GODOS MINTRA
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MODSIW EMPLOYEES MISSINGFOUL PLAY SUSPECTED
ADANACTON, ADANAC BRIT — Three employees of Modsiw Gib Labs have been reported missing. Scienteers Enog Sieh and Yawa Deppils, as well as Fiya Monsew, a student intern who recently joined the group, were reported missing by CEO, Darix Habodil. Two Scienteers, who were at the lab working with the missing individuals, have been detained for questioning. Their names have not been released.
Adanacton’s Chief of Police, Dawd Endisco would not give many details but released the following official statement: “At this time we are investigating a missing persons report. Three people were reported missing this morning by an employee at MG Labs. Two MG Labs scienteers have been detained for questioning. More information will be released at the appropriate time.” A Mujand Investigator law enforcement source has brought up the subject of foul play. Although several media outlets have brought up this possibility, industry insider, Stark Vering believes it unlikely but did concede that professional jealousy could be a possible motive but has his doubts. Darix Habodil, CEO of MG Labs had this to say when asked about the possibility of foul play; “There was no hostility between any of these people. I certainly would have learned of it and separated them immediately. This is a mystery and until I can question them myself, I am at a loss as to what occurred.” When asked what the group was working on, the Mr. Habodil would not comment. According to a source within the Adanacton Police Force, the investigation has found gaps in the two MG Labs detainees’ story. “There is a possible gap of missing time between the incident and the reporting of the incident,” reported this source. Shortly before this story was to be printed, the Mujand Investigator received information from an anonymous source claiming that the work being conducted by the MG Labs group was gravity and magnetic field related. “I think they were trying to create an artificial wormhole in the lab,” this anonymous source said. The Mujand Investigator reached out to other labs conducting experiments in this highly technical field with this wormhole theory. None of the labs with whom we spoke would comment. The artificial wormhole claim could not be verified. STRANGE NEWSZILCHY, MUJAND REPUBLIC--Darsin Bergos has made a discovery that has the intelligence community in a bit of a panic. Mr. Bergos is an employee for an international hotel chain and a part time student at Arvish College. While working a late shift a few nights ago, Darsin made a strange and unexpected discovery. Responding to a complaint about an uncomfortable pillow, he hurried to the hotel room with a new pillow. Upon returning to dispose of the bad pillow he noticed that the pillow brand was not the brand the hotel chain used. Upon closer inspection and purely by luck, Mr. Bergos found an entry point in the seam of the pillow and could see what looked like a device input.
He took the pillow home and with a magnifying glass he was able to confirm his suspicions. Placed within the pillow was a device input. “I had no idea what I was doing,” said Mr. Bergos. “I grabbed my tablet and the data cord that happened to be compatible. I slipped my cord into the pillow and the crazy thing glowed blue.” What happened next, according to Mr. Bergos, is that his tablet automatically uploaded software and began to list file names with letters and numbers that were senseless as far as he could decipher. Mr. Bergos could remember only these two file names, FLLNG.23.PVRTY and FLD.82.LOSS. “I should have written more down but the government was on me as soon as the thing lit up,” Mr. Bergos said. According to Mr. Bergos, there was a knock on his door late that night and in entered several people dressed in odd clothing. He was told that the pillow he took from the hotel was toxic and required examination. They did not detain him or question him. They just confiscated the pillow and his computer. Authorities have failed to answer our calls regarding the pillow but Mr. Bergos and other people believe the pillow is a spy pillow, which has the ability to record pillow talk or crazier yet, record dreams. “A pillow is a poor method of surveillance if you’d ask me. And then again, maybe they are tracking dreams. I just can’t imagine how dreams could help the government. Maybe they can get secrets when we sleep.” This was Darsin Bergos’ last statement to the Mujand Investigator. He has since left his job and dropped out of college. Our attempts to locate him have been unsuccessful. Meanwhile, a conspiratorial wave has the Net abuzz. Some are calling the device, The Dream Pillow. Gart Dren is a member of the Net society; Arth Holes, which is a group that believes that conspiracies do exist in every country on Blissdaine Nieve and the biggest conspiracy being the true origins of the planet. “Seriously, that Dream Pillow is the Government trying to learn what people know,” said Mr. Dren. “I’m willing to bet some big name scienteer stayed at that hotel. Does anyone know who the customer was that complained about that pillow?” Our attempts to learn who that customer was were blocked by privacy laws. No one at the Republic Department of Investigations (RDI) will speak to the Mujand Investigator or acknowledge the existence of the Dream Pillow. The Mujand Investigator continues to look for Mr. Bergos and to learn more about the so called, ‘Dream Pillow’. MORE ON...THE CHASM X TIME LAG
Adanacton, Adanac Brit - We spoke with Dr. Lada Pimas, Dean of Sciences at Adanac University, about the time lag. “The Chasm X effect can take several weeks to detect in some cases. Most cases detected have come after medical facilities received reports from patients of the time lag psychological effect. We started noticing this was affecting the entire population after a time event was detected.”
When asked about other possible effects from the Chasm X she responded with this ominous statement. “It is a strange occurrence to be in a carriage being pulled by a horse one day and to then be in a modern conveyance the next day and to not notice any difference. Personally I think bigger issues lay ahead. The time lag is the least of our worries.” |
