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VOL. I  No. 07              
© Mujand LLC
ZILCHY, MUJAND REPUBLIC     
August 15, 2017
Free

BIO-LUMINESCENT WORLD FOUND

CURRENCY NEWS



THE PIRATE CURRENCY

TARROWVA, LIA ANTOOTICA -
The Lia Antootica and Andaqesh Governments have jointly announced the release of a collection of banknotes previously kept from public viewing for hundreds of years.  The Andaqesh Registry of Records (ARR) located the banknotes in its vaults and together with Lia Antootica have unclassified the banknotes detailing the country’s historical conflict. These banknotes will be released to the public for historical purposes.
 
Gred Fragliony, ARR’s Managing Director said in a press release; "These banknotes are so disturbing we argued for nearly a year on whether or not to release these vile things to the public. In the end it was decided the historical value out-weighed the disturbing nature of these banknotes.”
 
The story of the Founding Pirates take over of Lia Antootica has somehow evaded public interest but now the story of a heinous act will be told.

*See Pirate story in this issue

MORE BANKNOTE NEWS


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 AMOTEKUNIA NOTES
THE BIRDS AND THE BEES
PORT AVASTUS, AMOTEKUNIA – The government of Amotekunia announces the release of two new banknotes featuring the modified bee escape first reported by the Mujand Investigator back in December, 2016.

The modified bee (code-named WTP1926) developed by Medlinda Natur, Inc., was developed to increase honey production. Once the bees escaped the lab, the Amotekunia government then released near 10,000 bee-eating birds.

The controversy sparked outrage because the public was not alerted but reports suggest the bee population has not been altered or affected in Amotekunia or any of its  neighboring countries. The situation continues to be monitored by the Department of Agriculture as well as several ornithology groups.

As for the banknotes, some critics have expressed outrage over the Amotekunia government using the incident as a subject for its national currency.


"This is ridiculous," said Orin Thornipple, president of the group, Not A Good Idea, an organization formed to monitor and protest all things done in poor taste.

"Seriously? Birds and bees? I shudder to think what Amotekunia would use should a bear eat a child."

Mr. Thornipple back down from his comments after they sparked shock and anger.

Muzzi Xanay, a member of NAGI also expressed her dismay at the group's president. "I apologize for my colleague's insensitive and shocking comment. We as a group do not stand by his words."

NOTES RELEASED
Despite the NAGI controversy, the notes have been released and are now circulating.

TECHNICAL NEWS


MINING APPLIOUS GOSTAY
Dobit Street, Zilchy – Energy corporation, Parsco Craid has announced that it will mine ervescent gold from the planet, Applious Gostay and estimates it can return near 10 trillion zilchy of the rare commodity within the next 5 to 10 years. In a deal with Agenis Pact, the mining company and space company will have .
 
Agenis Pact CEO Keno Smul spoke at a brief press conference in Cape Pable, home to the space company’s launch operations.
 
“Two years ago, Agenis launched the Eternal Raven 3 and it has been orbiting the planet and preparing for this venture. In nine months time, Parsco Craid’s mining team and our travel pilots will meet up with ER3 and start the journey to Apllious Gostay. Our transports are ready and training for the crew and mining team, started last year.”
 
It is estimated that the effort has created more than 8,000 jobs in the Mujand Republic and around the globe. Dobit Street reaction was positive but cautious.
 
Parsco Craid (PRC) – Dobit
Up 37.67 (7.5%)
Open: 502.25 z
Closed: 539.92 z
 
Argenis Pact (ARG) – Dobit
Up 32.54 (6.8%)
Open: 478.50 z
Closed: 511.04 z
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The Dobit Exchange is not responsible for inaccurate reporting

WEIRD NATURE


A KALEIDOSCOPE OF SUNSETS
Neimendal, Evshlohogi Islands – The Evshlohogi Islands are home to a long-standing mystery that is still baffling the scienteering community. Discovered many centuries ago and still unexplained, the five-island nation is the only place on Blissdane Naive where the sunset changes color. The prism of colors are unpredictable and still a joy to witness and a major attraction for visiting people.
 
“It is the queerest thing I’ve ever seen,” said scienteer, Dr. Fodche Dadat. “We’ve investigated the area weather patterns, the atmosphere conditions and many other factors and possibilities and still we are dumbfounded.”
 
Another discovery that could be linked to these colored sunsets is the sea life. Most notably are the fish, which have evolved into colorful, odd looking species of all kinds.
 
One infamous group has emerged with its own theory. The anti-government group, Naysayers Unmasking The Shroud, is suggesting a government cover-up. “We suspect the Evshlohogi government, in conjunction with other world powers, are conducting some kind of experiment in connection with the atmosphere. It’s all about controlling the planet’s system,” says founding member of NUTS, Georjio Addaps. “NUTS plans to visit Evshlohogi soon and we will expose this dangerous experiment.”
 
Dr. Dadat admits that no single theory has emerged that comes close to explaining the phenomenon but says that government conspiracies were inevitable to surface, due to the lack of a solid scientific explanation.
 
“I could say that we should spend resources here to find the answers but I think this one should be allowed to exist without too much probing. Just sit back, and enjoy the sunset, whichever color it chooses gives.”
 
*Read related story in this issue.

HISTORY


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THE LIA ANTOOTICA PIRATES
The Birth and Death of the Pirate Nation
 
Valsland, Lia Antootica – The history of Lia Antootica comes with a nasty past that some still view as adventurous while others see as cold-blooded.
 
In the early days of Blissdaine Naive a vicious, murderous act was perpatrated on the Ereny Royal family by a ruthless band of pirates led by a group of criminals who called themselves, The Founding Pirates.
 
Lia Antootica was a peaceful country led by the popular and much loved Ereny monarchy. King Bator Ereny was an honorable and just leader who created a prosperous and fair country. Queen Nana Ereny was kind and beautiful and a wonderful mother to the Princess, Feny Ereny. The Princess was a highly intelligent and eager woman of 21 years. The entire Royal Family was well liked by the Lia Antootica population.
 
The land was run well by the Government and there was much wealth and little poverty on the large island nation. With so much to be thankful for and so little strife, Lia Antootica was the perfect target for the ruthless pirates who had planned the attack on the prosperous nation for years.
 
It started late one night while the Queen and Princess slept and the King met with his Generals in his war room. Word had reached the Generals that an attack was eminent from an unknown force. It is believed that the Pirates had already infiltrated the country and the Pirates easily took the Palace by storm that night and captured the Royal Family and murdered the Generals. After a display of humiliation, the King was murdered, while the Queen and Princess were taken to sea, tied up and thrown overboard. Their bodies washed up ashore for the people to find.
 
The act shocked the nation and the following day a full attack on Lia Antootica was launched and the leaderless Antootica military was easily defeated by the Pirates. The take over was swift and the country’s institutions were converted nearly overnight. The Antooticans were heart broken and at a loss.
 
Although the world was outraged and angered when the news made it out, little could be done immediately. The Pirates were well formed and there were thousands of them. Lia Antootica had little choice.
 
To survive, the Antooticans went about their business. To help control the citizenry the Pirates implemented a sinister deed. They introduced banknotes with images of The Founding Pirates on the obverse of the notes and images of the murdered Royal Family on the reverse. This would serve as a reminder to the people that the Pirates were in charge. They wanted the citizens to see their dead King and Queen throughout their daily routine. It was a warning of what they faced should they step out of line.
 
The Kalozkodas Bank and the illegal pirate nation lasted roughly 13 years due to short-sighted decisions made by the Founding Pirates themselves. The mere idea of allowing other pirates to migrate to their shores was a foolish policy. No immigrant procedure was implemented and soon pirates were pirating pirates. Chaos ensued. The unorganized Lia Antootica military was ill equipped to handle the fighting and mayhem. Many of the soldiers joined the pirates. To make things worse for the Founding Pirates, the Sivar currency found its way to other shores and the mistake of using their own images on the banknotes proved to be their final demise.
 
In the end, several nations joined forces to attack the pirate nation and the Founding Pirates were rounded up by the multi-coalition army, using the Lia Antootica banknote images for positive identification. All Founding Pirates were put on trial, found guilty and executed for their crimes. The surviving Pirates fled but were hunted and captured throughout the world for years to follow.
 
Lia Antootica was now a nation without leaders. The coalition of nations then placed experienced people in charge to lead Lia Antootica out of chaos. With a very strong ship building economy they were able to crawl out of the mess they were in within 10 years. Today Lia Antootica is still the leader in ship building.
 
Lia Antootica would return to the peaceful entity it always was with a much wiser government.  They built up a strong military. They would not be subjected to that humiliation ever again.


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Sergi Fonte

THE DERA PEOPLE
DISCOVERED


Toroguay - Two years ago, scienteers reported that the Mujand Republic’s terrain charting satellite, The Obvient, had detected an illumination coming from the western jungles of Toroguay where there was none before. Last year, environmentalist, Sergi Fonte and a team of researchers set out to discover what it was the orbiting data gathering craft was seeing from space.
 
“This remote and uncharted area of Toroguay is well known for its inhospitable terrain,” said Dr. Fonte, but his team not only found the source of the illumination but also discovered a people long thought to be extinct; the Derã. This long lost tribe went unnoticed by the modern world until they were found living strong, deep within the Toroguay jungle.
 
“We believe the Derã regressed deep into the harsh jungles as modern man started to populate Toroguay,” Dr. Fonte said. “As far as I know, the Toroguay government did not know they were here in this rain forest.”
 
According to Dr. Fonte, the team struggled to communicate with the tribe’s leaders and a Toroguay linguist was brought in to help with the translation effort. Once the linguist arrived, Dr. Fonte and his team were able to communicate with the Dera leaders. When asked about the illumination source, Dr. Fonte and his team were taken deeper into the jungle. What they found surprised them.
 
Within the forest was a host of bioluminescent amphibians in the thousands as well as new species of fungus and tree sap. The amphibia were of every order of lizard, snake and the most abundant and giving off the most illumination was a frog Dr. Fonte dubbed, the Anura Luciferin. According to Dr. Fonte, the illuminating amphibians must have evolved from the nearby sea, where bioluminescent creatures and seaweeds do exist.
 
Dr. Fonte and his team’s detailed findings are long overdue and it is the lack of these reports that have scienteers and fringe groups talking of conspiracies and cover-up.
 
THE COVER UP -- ANOMALY THEORY
Wince Emit, a time anomaly enthusiast, posed this question recently at the Time Out Conference; “Don’t you think it’s a little strange that Dr. Fonte’s team was so very interested in the glowing jungle and has shown very little curiosity as to the sudden arrival of the, thought to be extinct, Derã tribe?”
 
According to Wince Emit, Dr. Fonte’s theories as to how the Derã people were able to go unnoticed are bunk. He and many of his followers believe it’s because the Derã tribe have just arrived from the past and the bioluminescent creatures and plants came along for the ride.
 
“There is no way that this glowing rain forest has somehow evaded our satellites for all these years. It’s bunk!”
 
We asked Mr. Emit why he thought the Chasm X research team would not be involved if there were any evidence of a time event in this location.
 
“I rest my case,” was all he said.
 
Emit concluded the interview by accusing Dr. Fonte and the Toroguay government of a cover-up.
 
“Plain and simple, the Derã people have just arrived and the Toroguay government is trying to hide this fact for who knows what reason.”
 
We reached a Chasm X spokesperson and they said this about the Toroguay glowing rain forest.
 
“It’s simple all right. There is nothing here that leads us to believe this is a time anomaly event. We have no reason to investigate.”
 
The Mujand Investigator will continue to watch this story.
 
TOROGUAY BANKNOTES
The Toroguay Monetary Reserve has announced a new series of banknotes to be released featuring Segi Fonte, Queen Luzi Do Brilho, the Derã people as well as the Anura Luciferin and other bioluminescent creatures.

Cigarettes, Boss, Cigarette Ads
Poneet Boss. Still 2 Zilchy a pack!

INVESTIGATIVE NEWS


THE MYSTERIOUS CAPTAIN GRACKLE

Editor’s Note:
Investigative journalist, Sesluc Laros, has been following a story that involves the royal family of the Evshohogi Islands. Before this story was to run however, the Evshlohogi Government, with the intent of keeping our newspaper from publishing Mr. Laros’s story, contacted The Mujand Investigator’s editorial department. In a strange twist, the newspaper was then contacted by Queen Esmi Arccrm herself, giving the newspaper her blessing and full support for the publication of the story as written in its entirety. And thus, as Mr. Laros wrote it, here is his story.

Mara Beach, Evshlohogi Islands – My name is Sesluc Laros. I am a journalist for the Mujand Investigator. While vacationing last month on Mara Beach in the Evshlohogi Islands, taking a long overdue dose of rest and relaxation, I received a mysterious phone call. And as my girlfriend Danzi will testify, the R&R we planned and waited for since the start of the year was suddenly placed on the back-burner. I am still in the Shoghouse over this intrusion into our vacation.
 
This whole thing started when I received the mysterious call as my girlfriend and I baked in the Mujand sun. The call came from an anonymous source telling me that he knew something that I could not ignore or pass off to a colleague. This anonymous source referred to himself as, Captain Grackle, and said some mighty intriguing things to me, right off the whack.
 
“Are this Mr. Laros?” asked the man on my phone.
 
“I are,” said I. “And who you are?” I asked, playing along.
 
“You can call me, Captain Grackle,” said the mysterious caller.
 
I of course immediately regretted answering the call thinking it a prank. “Captain Grackle indeed,” I chuckled. “Is this Gawry?” I asked, thinking my long time friend Gawry Tamari (yes, that’s his name) was the mastermind behind this childish joke. “You couldn’t come up with a better name for a prank?”
 
“This is not a prank, Mr. Laros. And what I have to say, you will want to print in your little newspaper. But I cannot tell you now. Not at this moment. This must be in person. Tonight.”
 
Okay, this Captain Grackle was making me angry. First, he interrupts my vacation to tell me something that he cannot tell me and then he insults The Mujand Investigator.
 
“You called to not tell me something?” I gave him both barrels of sarcasm, loaded with shrapnel of doubt.
 
“I realize this is sounding ridiculous but I assure you, this story needs to be published. I am serious when I tell you this...” He paused for what I thought was dramatic theater.
 
“Tell me what?” I asked. But he was gone.
 
“Hello,” I said to no response. The so-called Captain Grackle was gone and so too was his prank. Or so I believed.
 
With Danzi in tow and a nagging distraction lingering, we headed in for the day. At about dinnertime, I had all but expunged the thought of Captain Grackle and we set out for a fabulous seafood dinner, c/o the Mara Beach Bistro. Try the prawns—you’ll love them.
 
With wine and dinner ordered we sat talking of our plans for the following day. Seconds into the conversation the Maître d' arrived at our table to inform me that there was a gentleman at the entrance who insisted was a friend of mine who needed to deliver an urgent missive, immediately.
 
Fearing the worst I jumped up and followed the Maître d’ outside to where there was nobody waiting for me. I turned to find that the so-called Maître d’ had changed into someone else.
 
“And you are?” I asked the stranger.
 
“I don’t have much time,” he started. “I am Captain Grackle and I have brought you something with which to write what I have to tell you.”
 
He pulled a pad and pen from his coat and held them out for me. But I hesitated.
 
“Who are you?” I asked again. I was beginning to feel a strange sensation. Too odd to describe but I did not feel myself nor did I feel grounded. Was the wine drugged? I was beginning to believe I was deceived.
 
“Listen!” He snapped at me. “There is no time. Write this down and be sure to get it published.”
 
He gestured to the pad for me to take dictation. I did so to appease this stranger who proved himself stranger with each passing moment. I readied the pen.
 
“The Queen of Evshlohogi and the Princesses are in danger of being complicit in a historic crime. They must be warned to watch for the Gold Dragonflies.”
 
“The what?” I was not certain what he was saying. “How do you… what is that?”
 
He grabbed the pad and pen from me and wrote out the name as I have reported it in this story. He then returned the pad and pen to me and continued. “I tried to warn the Queen but the GD were on to me. This is the only way for me to stop what may have already happened.” Captain Grackle stopped and sighed. He looked defeated. “Trust me, I know this all sounds insane. And I am not giving you a reason to believe me behaving as I am. But you must.”
 
“And how will the Queen and Princesses be complicit in this crime you speak of?” I tried to sound like a believer. I wanted to get as much as I could. Although it did sound insane and dubious, my gut was telling me he was legitimate.
 
He took a deep breath. “Her Royal Highness, Esmi Arccrm and her three daughters, Princesses Zia, Iza and Azi will allow a man into their palace. He is a very intelligent, amiable and charming man. But he is cunning as well. He will convince them that there are forces prepared to over throw the Monarchy. He will be extremely convincing and he will sweet-talk them out of their jewels and heirlooms for the purposes of financing the fight against the plot to overthrow the Arccrm Monarchy.”
 
“But this plot is not true,” I surmised.
 
“No. He will take their treasure to advance his cause.” Captain Grackle could not hide his anger. He seemed genuine.
 
“But,” I started only to be cut off.
 
“We are out of time. Danzi is coming to retrieve you.”
 
“How do you know?”
 
“I know. That is all you need to know.”
 
“But.”
 
He interrupted me. “Do you have any Dubre?” He asked while at the same time reaching for his wallet. I did the same and pulled out all the Evshlohogi currency I had on me. “Look at your currency. Look closely,” he said. I did and I wasn’t certain what I was looking for. “Look at the Queen. The princesses,” he said.
 
I still saw nothing out of the ordinary. It was the same currency I had been using since arriving to the Evshlohogi Islands. “I see nothing,” I reported to Mr. Grackle.
 
He then put his large finger on my 10 Dubre. He flicked on a light onto the note and there it was. I could now see something I had not noticed before. Something strange and spooky. I looked at Captain Grackle and he nodded. “That’s him,” he said.
 
It was clearly visible. There was a ghostly hand reaching for Princess Zia. And it scared me. I looked at the other banknotes and there were no hands. The 25 banknote did not have anything. But Mr. Grackle showed me his 25 dubre note and there it was, the ghostly hand again reaching for Princess Iza’s bracelet. And then the 50 note. Nothing. I looked at my 50 banknote and there it was, the ghostly hand reaching for Princess Azi’s pearls.
 
How could this be? It made no sense. “These are forgeries,” I said trying to find some explanation. “What is going on here?” I asked him with all the pleading I could muster. Then I saw Danzi coming to look for me.

"I must go," said Captain Grackle.
 
“Wait,” I said.
 
He stopped but was ready to go. “What is it?” he asked.
 
“How is it that these ghostly hands are in some of the dubre banknotes?” I was really confused. “Only some.”

"I placed them there," said Mr. Grackle.

"What? Why? I don't understand." I was completely flummoxed by the whole thing.
 
“You are an investigative journalist. Find out,” he said and started to walk away.

He turned to me one last time.
 
“It is meant as a warning to the monarchy,” he said. “Be sure to investigate this story. And it won’t be easy.” He paused for some time. “And watch your back,” he said.
 
That last thing he said gave me chills but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. “Okay. I will do what I can to give them this warning but I must do it in my own way.”
 
“What do you mean?” Grackle asked.
 
“I will report what you are conveying to me but I will also tell of the strange manner in which I received this story.”
 
He shrugged.
 
“I must tell everything as it has occurred tonight.” That was my condition.
 
“Fine. Anyway you want.” He looked off behind me.
 
I turned to see Danzi coming towards us. I turned back to Captain Grackle and he was gone.
 
Needless to say, the dinner and the vacation was a disaster. Danzi left the following day and swore to never speak with me again. I pleaded and begged her, to no avail.
 
I stayed behind on the Evshlohogi Islands to investigate and learn what I could. To date, I have found no information on the so-called Gold Dragonflies. The Queen has refused to see me or discuss anything about the theft of their treasure. They deny there was a theft. The one thing they cannot deny or cover up, are the banknotes. The Evshlohogi Islands government has announced a recall of the banknotes in hopes of retrieving the issues with the ghostly hands but since the hands have been discovered, the citizens are unwilling to turn them in and are keeping them instead.
 
I spoke with the Central Bank of Evshlohogi and they are just as baffled by the appearance of the hands. How many ghost hand banknotes are out in the public is unknown.  No one can say how the notes came into existence to begin with. It is a complete mystery. A very spooky one.
 
As for Captain Grackle, he has yet to make another appearance and my guess is he will be seen as a device, made up by me, to tell this fantastic story. But I say no, he was real. And my hopes are that he returns to finish telling his story.
 
As for the ghost hands, I will continue to pursue this story. As for Danzi, she has not forgiven me. I will continue to pursue her as well.


ENDANGERED?


Poneet Islands, Port Avastus - The Poneet Islands government has petitioned the Serene Courts and SMACU to place the Shog on the world’s endangered species list. Although this legendary creature has not been seen for over a century, the petitioners insist there are still some hiding within their jungles as well as within the waters around the Poneet Islands and the country of the Ervescent Coast.
 
Garba Manmin, Director General for the Society of Nearly Dead Animals, has rejected the petition saying, “We can’t place a species on the endangered species list if the species is extinct. The Shog is extinct and has not been seen for over 116 years.”
 
The petitioners argue that to expose the Shog would mean its certain demise. They insist the Shog must remain in hiding.
 
This has prompted several adventure groups to go to the Poneet Island chain to search for the elusive Shog. Many critics are now saying that the Poneet Islands were merely seeking publicity and tourism.
 
Dr. Sebatian Meely, a paleobiologist at the University of Evshlohogi, has his suspicions. “If the Shog has not been seen for over one hundred years, why even bring it up? Unless you want to drum up a little tourism.”
 
The Poneet Islands government rejects these claims and announces that it will protect the Shog at all costs.
 
Dr. Meely replied with this quip. “I have a few Shog bones they might be able to protect for me. For a while.”

STRANGE NEWS


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Ex-Model Rainy Zera
WOMAN'S FACE CONTORTS
Blames excessive personal phone use

Nalim, Sima Senco - A twenty-four year old female model in Sima Senco claims that half of her face has contorted due to excessive personal phone use.

"I felt it coming on but didn't know it was because of the phone," said Rainy Zera. "Why haven't we been warned of this possibility?"

Robin Hoos, attorney for Ms. Zera, said that they will file a lawsuit against all personal phone manufacturers and their affiliates for a sum yet to be determined.

"My client has been damaged beyond repair and it has ended her modeling career, which was a giant part of her life. These phone manufacturers and their component and software affiliates, have robbed Ms. Zera of her beauty, her livelihood and her self-respect."

When asked what scientific research has determined that personal phones are causing these facials distortions, Ms. Hoos responded with a question.

"Do we want to wait for science to tell us we are seeing a distorted face on Ms. Zera? There is the proof. We don't need doctors to explain what we are seeing."

The Mujand Investigator reached out to several personal phone manufacturers, receiving but one response.

Beachball CEO, Roddit Ucker Keedeeng, had this to say, "Ms. Zera and her attorney could have just as easily blamed cameras and the excessive flashing. Perhaps the camera flashes Ms. Zera subjected herself to for years finally showed her real face."

A war of words commenced after Mr. Keedeeng's comments.

"I expected as much from a cold-hearted CEO like R.U. Keedeeng. I know him and his Beachball bum board of directors. They have no shame."

The lawsuit was being filed as this story was going to print. The Mujand Investigator will continue to follow the case.


MORE ON...


THE CHASM X TIME LAG
UPDATE

THE SHIKOONA ALESE PROJECT
A Worthy Commerce with a Small Problem
 
Keedomon, Shikoona Alese—With a no fly zone placed over Shikoona Alese for the last few years, there is little known about this mysterious MT country. Only Supreme Macore Unit and Chasm X Authority representatives are allowed within the country’s borders. However, some leaks have occurred and information regarding this strange country has made it to the Mujand Investigator. The most surprising is the fact that visits to the MT country has revealed a population anomaly. Women are 95% of the population. Men have either disappeared or died off. The cause is unknown and we have been unable to reach SuMacU or Chasm X for comment.
 
What is known comes from official news releases from both organizations on the progress of the MT country known as, Shikoona Alese.
 
Here is the latest release:
 
SuMacU press release 4.6.13
Year long observation reveals that the Shikoona Alese women have evolved into hunters and manufacturers, creating unique, fine fabrics from the spins of butterflies they call, Zawadi, or gift. They have enriched their commerce ability quickly using mostly trade.
 
SumacU started educating the Shikoona Alese leaders in commerce and government. They have since elected their leader who was their leader already. They were introduced to levels of government and leadership, which they were already aware of but have now started to understand the delegating of authority and its importance.
 
Rory Wanawake is without question or argument their President. She is young but has knowledge beyond her years.
 
It will be a slow process but the women are sharp and ready to learn the new world around them.
End press release 4.6.13
 
The issue of the lack of men continues to be a source of disturbance according to our sources. The Shikoona Women cannot explain. The remaining Men are silent on the subject. Doctors are scheduled to enter the country within the next few months to start tests on the remaining male population to determine if an illness has brought on this male deterioration. The Women of Shikoona Alese have made a request to be visited by Female Doctors only. SuMacU sees nothing wrong with this request.
 
The Mujand Investigator will continue to follow this strange old world.

SCIENCE NEWS


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Dr. Doleena Rorrim

REFLECTIONS THEORY
Who Lights up Your Life?
 
The once notable physicist Dr. Doleena Rorrim has released a theory that has caused many in the scienteering community great concern. There are calls for an involuntary committal to an institute for evaluation after she theorized the possibility that the reflection world is the real world and that we are the reflection of its light. The real world can be seen in mirrors and water and other reflective surfaces.
 
Dr. Stun Axia, a colleague and close friend, has taken Dr. Rorrim to her home and is under his care. “I am saddened by the reaction to her theory,” Dr. Axia said. “Doleena has always been a frank and direct person. Although I too have issues with her theory, that is no reason to attack her and label her incompetent.”
 
At her home in Arth, Toozuela, where she has gone into hiding after the reaction to her theory, she agreed to grant us a few questions.
 
MI: How did the theory of the reflection world come about?
 
DR: Quite by accident. I was in my office working when I happened to look at a window because the wind had suddenly picked up outside. Looking at the reflection of myself on the glass I just could see the light waves bouncing away from me and reflecting myself toward the glass for the real me to see on the other side, which is the real world.”
 
MI: Do you plan to keep working on this theory and is there any way that it can be proven?
 
DR: “Indeed I do plan to keep working on this theory. But it’s only a theory until someone else sees what I saw and then it becomes an elusive vision. Much like the witnessed white holes on the Kerajaan Islands.”
 
Dr. Axia cut the interview short at this point.
 
The Mujand Investigator has learned that Dr. Rorrim has been admitted into a facility for observation.

MEDICAL NEWS


LMNOPee
 
Forbistad, Provincia Vis – Forbistad Memorial reports that a patient who had been in a coma for twelve years was not in his bed when a nurse arrived to care for him. “When it was learned that he was missing from his hospital room the staff began a mad search,” said the patient’s caretaker, Doctor Pame. The search went on for thirty minutes until the patient was spotted returning from the bathroom.
 
When asked about his adventure to the bathroom, the man crawled back into bed and replied, “I really had to pee. But I’m still pretty sleepy.”
 
According to reports, the Doctors and Nurses present in the room at the time laughed, thinking the patient was jesting. But they soon realized that he had indeed fallen asleep and eventually back into a coma.
 
“It’s the damnedest thing we’d ever seen,” continued Dr. Pame. “The patient awoke and traveled to find a bathroom to urinate then returned to his bed and fell back into a coma.”
 
As of today, the patient is still in a coma. Twelve years and counting.

SERIOUSLY?


Picture

Prank Gone Awry

Jestington, Felakton - Avie Rogan, a 22 year old woman was the victim of a prank that has caused uncontrollable hair growth on her face. "I can't stop it," she said on the phone through tears. "I cut it and shave it and it returns overnight. I'm hideous!"

According to Ms. Rogan, her now ex-boyfriend, Tok Lowin, applied his hair growth product onto her face while she slept. She woke in the morning to find hair on her face. It was then that her ex-boyfriend admitted to the prank saying he had no idea it would grow hair. For the record, Ms. Rogan says Tok is bald and that the product never worked for him.

According to the producer of the product, ScalpUp, the hair growth product reacts differently to each person. "We can't say why Ms. Rogan is seeing such incredible results without examining her. But she refuses to come in to see our scienteers."

Ms. Rogan was appalled by their response.

"Incredible results? I'm just glad Tok didn't apply ScalpUp somewhere else on me. He's done that before with peanut butter!"

The Mujand Investigator has learned that the D.A. was pursuing criminal charges against Mr. Lowin but Ms. Rogan refused to testify against him.

UPDATE:
The Mujand Investigator has learned that the couple has reunited.


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